My Heart's Song

Psalm 33:4-5 "For the word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all He does. The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of His unfailing love.

This past week has been a very difficult one for my family and I. I know that the battle is not yet over, but I can see light at the end of the tunnel. It has been a long journey and we thought this day would never come; however, we held on to the truth that God's timing is always perfect! We know that what satan has meant for harm in the end God will use this situation to help further His kingdom. We have come to the realization that we may never have the justice we would like to see, but we know that God's got it all under control. He is bigger then all of it! At the beginning of this week I heard for the first time a song called "Healing Hand Of God" by Jeremy Camp, which I have heard at least three times a day. Knowing all that was going to happen this week I broke down crying on the way to school because I felt God was telling me to hold on to what is being held out, my sweet daughter, which is My healing hand. In that moment I knew that yes this all may be tough but God is going to hold our hand through it and as Max Lucado says in his book Fearless "when you place your faith in Christ, Christ places His Spirit before, behind, and within you." I knew there was nothing to fear because God was on our side. Sometimes standing up for what is right and true is hard and takes a lot of courage; I have found that the strength to do so only comes from our amazing Father and Creator. This secret that has kept us in bondage for so long is no more and we have found freedom in the shelter of the Lord. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is FREEDOM!

Here is the lyrics to Jeremy Camps song. God used this song to remind me that He knows just what I am going through. "When you feel there is not anyone, Who understands your pain, Just remember all of Jesus' suffering." What an encouragement this song has been to me so I thought I would share it with all of you who may need to read these words and be reminded of our Father's healing hand.


Healing Hand Of God lyrics

I have seen the many faces,
I fear in the pain.
I have watched the tears fall plenty,
From heart ache and strength.
So if life's journey,
Has you weary and afraid.
There's rest in the shadow of his wings.
I have walked through the valleys,
The mountains and plains.
I have held the hand of freedom,
It washes all my stains.
If you feel the weight of many trials,
And burdens from this world.
There's freedom in the shelter of the Lord.

Chorus:
I have seen,
The healing hand of God,
Reaching out and mending broken hearts.
Taste and see the fullness of His peace,
And hold on to what's being held out.
The healing hand of God.

I have touched the scars upon His hands,
To see if they were real.
He has walked the road before me,
He knows just how I feel.
When you feel there is not anyone,
Who understands your pain,
Just remember all of Jesus' suffering.

(Chorus)

Cast all your cares on Him,
For He cares for you.
He's near to the broken and confused.
By His stripes,
Our spirit is renewed.
So enter in the joy prepared for you.

(Chorus)

The healing hand of God (x2)
And hold on to what's being held out (x2)
The healing hand of God
Oh Oh Oh Oh

Happy New Year's

Oh ya I forgot HAPPY NEW YEAR'S everyone! I forgot because I slept through that day. I was in pain, but I did get to watch the ball drop in Times Square in New York on TV with my family. I hope everyone had a fun time!

Progress

Tomorrow it will be a week since I had my wisdom tooth pulled and boy what a week it has been. I have to say I don't remember 3 days of it because the hydrocodone they gave me knocked me out. All I remember is waking up so I could take my pain meds, antibiotics, drink water, and then go right back to bed. With each day I could progress to other foods, but for the most part all I had was milkshakes and mashed potatoes. I never thought I would be tired of having yummy milkshakes; however I was ready for some solid food like maybe a steak or shrimp hahaha. The pain was unbarable at some points and all I wanted to do was sleep. Not eating a full meal for a week has made me lose weight that I really wasn't looking to lose and if you know me I am a girl who loves to eat so this was torture hahaha. Now the pain is completely gone and I am left with a little annoying feeling where the stitches haven't completely gone away. Today I was able to eat mac 'n cheese which made me jump for joy! Tomorrow I am going to venture out and try some lunch meat. Once I am back to normal I am going to eat all the shrimp I can at Joe's Crab Shack, boy I can't wait!

Ouch!

Yesterday I got my wisdom tooth pulled. I was scared because I have never been put under with anesthesia before. Within counting backwards from 10...9...8...7...6... I was out. Waking up out of it was the hardest part; I had no control over my motor skills and I was like jello hahaha. My parents had to carry me to the car and into the house whenever I arrived home. When Corey came over to help take care of me all I could do was say hi, your home hahaha. My mom and Corey said they wish they had a video camera because I was acting so silly. Who knew that trying to eat mashed potatoes and a milkshake would be as hard as it was. I did not feel any pain until this morning and then it started coming. I am thankful that God blessed me with a wonderful surgeon because I do not look like a chipmunk and God has been taking care of the pain for me; thanks Daddy! I am sooo not looking forward to having the other 3 pulled soon.

Emotionally Exhausted

This Christmas was definitely a bittersweet one. My sister-in-laws mother passed away Christmas morning. It was hard to let her go and to know that we would not be spending anymore holidays with her on this earth. The sweet part is she passed on her favorite holiday, she went to celebrate Jesus's birthday with Him, & she is no longer suffering from this horrible disease. She was a fighter for 13 years and she was determined to keep her promise of making it for one more Christmas. She was in bed rest for the last 6 months or so and I know how badly she wanted out of that bed. It brings a smile to my face to know that she is now in heaven running along side her Heavenly Father. What a tough few days it has been and I don't think it has fully set in that she is gone. I went to her house the day after Christmas and it was so quiet without the sound of her laughter. She treated my brother and I like we were her own children and loved us to pieces. She was a wonderful mother who was always there for her baby girl and what a beautiful wife she was also. It brings us such hope and joy to know that she is not suffering anymore and that she is in the arms of our Lord. This is not goodbye but a we will see you soon. I can't imagine not having this hope, joy, and comfort which only our Lord can bring. She made me make her several promises like, I will graduate from college and not let anything stand in my way (she told me I would make a great teacher), to be the best aunt that I could possible be and spoil my nieces and nephews rotten, that I will not let her grand babies forget who she is, to take care of her daughter, and that I will not let what everyone else wants for me stand in the way of my own happiness. It is crazy to think I have known her since I was 8 years old. Gosh I am going to miss her like crazy, but I will make sure we never forget her and that her grand babies won't also. Thank you God for giving us the honor and privilege of knowing such a beautiful woman, what a blessing she was to so many!

Prayer

My family needs a lot of prayer right now. My sister-in-laws mom has been fighting cancer off and on for about the last 11 years and this time the cancer has come back hitting her harder then before. Almost 2 weeks ago she called all of her friends and family to her home in order to say her goodbyes. She is a fighter, but she says she is getting tired and she is ready to go. Please keep our families in your prayers as we all know that she does not have much longer to live and with it being the holidays it is harder for my sis and her family. We just pray that the Lord will be glorified through this sad and horrible situation! Thank you to everyone!

Run To Win

The letter I read today from the book "His Princess: Love Letters from Your King" is based on the scripture verse 1 Corinthians 9:24 which states, "Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win." I was able to relate to this letter because it discusses how we tend to struggle with pleasing others and forgetting that our goal should be to please our King. I have to say this is something I have struggled with and had to give over to God. I realized that if I am trying to please people then I am not being a servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10). The only one we should focus on pleasing is our Heavenly Father and also there is a race set out before us that we should never lose sight of. The burden of trying to please others keeps us from having victory in this endurance race that we are running. The title for this letter is:

"My Princess... Run To Win"

"You, My princess, are destined to win. I know how tired you often become, just by trying to do and say all the right things. Take that pressure off yourself, because I did not put it there. The world may judge you by what they see and hear, but I look within your heart, My child. I see your desire to please Me, and I see your struggle to please others. If you want to win this endurance race, you must let go of your need for the approval of others and seek My will and My pleasure. Simplify your life, and let go of the burdens that weigh you down. You'll find that My grace will lighten your step, and My favor will even draw others to join us. Yes, at times you will stumble and fall. But don't worry. I'm here to help you get back up again-- as often as it takes. Make it your daily passion to run with Me, and I will carry you over the finish line of your faith. Together we will win!
Love,
Your King and your Champion."

I know that sometimes I become ADD and lose sight of the race ahead. I even stumble a little along the way and allow myself to get side tracked by things like trying to please others.
Its soooo nice to know that I am not running this race alone, but that my Daddy is my running partner; He is along side me every step of the way to help pick me back up such as when I feel I cannot run anymore. Thank you Heavenly Father for being patient with us whenever we take our eyes off of the race and off of You. Thank you for helping me to carry the heavy load and for picking me back up again. I know that with You by my side I can win and have victory! Thank you my Father!!!